What man decided to create a game called "hearts" in which the queen of spades costs you 13 points and hearts cost you one point each when they are taken in a trick?
And who decided to call the cards that you took in a single play a "trick"?
After spending a week being soundly defeated at the game of hearts, I think it is time to reconfigure the scorekeeping.
I think you should earn points for every heart, lose points for having to capture a spade (it's a garden implement after all), should subtract points for every club (clubs are places for idle men to go and waste time), and get double points for each diamond.
Now we have a game where we women can take control and win. Oh and the King of Hearts is wild. He can be paired with any Queen to gain an extra 10 points.
High points win, and she who has the most diamonds gets an extra serving of chocolate. Now we're talking.